When Surrender Happens

Today, we have Fisayo Daniel Agidi joining us on ChiStlyes! I am so excited for him to share his battle strategy with us. Enjoy!

Hello, Beautiful people! Let’s start off like this, I’m encouraging everyone to find 4 people you hold dear to your heart. Tell them how much you appreciate them, be very specific in what you say, and share 3 things they have helped you realize throughout the entirety of your relationship. I am humbled to be a part of this series, and I pray that every word that is said moving forward would give the ultimate glory to our Father in heaven. 

My name is Fisayo. I grew up in Willingboro NJ and attended Liberty University for two years of my undergrad, eventually finishing out at Rutgers University. I’m a photographer, a personal trainer, a son, a brother, and a friend. My life has been filled with countless battles, and these experiences have molded me into the person that I am today; however, if I can be fully transparent, sometimes these battles put me in an unpleasant place. Over the years, I have built up a habit of brushing off my emotions and suppressing my feelings. Not knowing what else to do, I became numb, and that was my battle cry for a considerable period of my life——numbness, avoidance, and suppression. I thought that I could do everything on my own. I didn’t want help from anyone with my “it is what it is” mentality.  I had an excellent coping mechanism; nobody could tell what I was going through, and I didn’t want anybody to know. I didn’t like when people were too concerned about me. In order to avoid adding stress to anybody’s life, I kept everything to myself.  I believed that my issues weren’t that serious because there were other people dealing with much worse; I was neglecting myself. I accepted lessons and ideologies from people who didn’t know better, lessons that preached that life was hard, and it was only going to get much harder. I ALWAYS prepared for the worse, never hoping for the best, and avoided expectations because of the fear of disappointment.

During the summer of 2019, I attended the C&S Youth retreat, and that was the beginning of my transformation. The love I felt during this retreat revealed something special to me. This was the first time in a while that I was able to open up and talk about the issues I was dealing with. I was so stuck in my ways that I didn’t allow people to love me, but the love I felt from the C&S Youth was different. It created a safe place and I felt comfortable even though they were challenging me and calling me out on my BS. Despite being vulnerable, it felt good because I wasn’t afraid to speak up. I felt a spark of boldness that was never there. I realized that I cannot do life alone, and God was showing me a new way to live. Find a community that truly loves you, and allows you to be yourself. 

I battled with my true identity, allowing hate and resentment to live within my heart because of past experience. I didn’t know how to forgive. I didn’t know how to love and God was unwrapping all of these issues during this weekend. I started to give up on my logic of doing things on my own. This is where real surrender started. I gave all my issues to God, asked Him to take them and do as He pleases. I was tired of doing it on my own and I wanted to be able to give out the same love I was receiving. I left the fight to Him. 2 Chronicles 20:17 says, “You will not have to fight this battle. Take your position; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you”. I fight my battles by accepting my flaws, giving them up to God, and understanding that I’m not perfect and never will be. God hasn’t called me to be perfect; He called me to love and at this point in my life that’s all I want to do. In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him.

“You will not have to fight this battle. Take your position; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you”.

2 Chronicles 20:17

My battles are now fought with love. I am still working on a lot and I have the rest of my life to become the best version of myself. I’m in no rush because God has my heart so I’m in good hands. For some reason we only want the world to see us at our very best because the people are more likely to accept and possibly even admire us. God did not create me to be perfect, He created me to LOVE and spread His word. Get in touch with the emotions that you try to suppress, understand the Love of God, make Christ the center of your life, get to know the voice of the Holy Spirit, and give your problems to God. Trust me, He will take care of you. Yeah, we go through tough situations. I understand that life can be difficult, things won’t always go as planned, but trust and believe that God has your best interest at heart. If we fully grasped how much He loves us, we would never worry. His Love is everlasting, never failing, conquers all, and unimaginable. I will stay thankful.

You are worthy of it all. You deserve the Glory. You have always been faithful. You take the broken things and raise them to glory, You are my Champion, every battle You have won, You crown me with confidence, and I am undefeated because You have conquered it all. I wish I was able to love like you Father, maybe I will get there one day.

I love you all. I wish you nothing but the best. Depression is a LIAR fear is a LIAR, and anxiety is a LIAR. The Lord is our strength! Fear WHO? Nobody!

Thank You.

H&H

Thank you friend for joining us today & for your willingness to share your story with others. Everyone, go follow Fisayo on IG @slans.vizionhh & @sl.vizion. He is responsible for the header picture on my home page as well as the header for this post so hit him up for your photography & videography needs!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: